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Heather at Production, Not Reproduction, has asked another interesting question for this week’s open adoption round table:
Share your wish list for your open adoption(s).
My number one wish, not just for our open adoption, but all open adoptions, is that all of the participants are healthy, happy, and secure, more often than not.
Yeah, I know. I might as well ask for the moon.
Health, happiness, and security are recurring themes in my prayers and wishes.
I wish that Jack’s birth mother would learn to make better choices. I wish that the son she’s parenting recovers as much as possible from his illnesses and situation. I wish that the daughter she’s parenting doesn’t live the same life S is living. I wish that, some day, I can bring Jack to visit his siblings, and we all have a good time. I wish that I knew what to say to S sometimes. I wish that S could send Jack a letter, a book, or a small gift so that he knows she’s thinking of him. (When we read books, I’ll often mention the person who gave the book to him, and we talk about that person, who he or she is, what his relationship is with them, and so on.) I wish we knew more about Jack’s birth father, and that we knew we’d be safe if we contacted him to find out more. Heck, I’d settle for just a picture.
As I hope to participate in one more open adoption in the future, I have some wishes for that too. I wish that the expectant/birth parents, my husband, and I are all strong enough to ask for what we want, and open minded enough to compromise. I wish that my daughter spends her first hours and days with family who loves her and holds her close. I wish that I can live up to my end of the bargain in terms of contact. I wish that we can have a healthy relationship that includes at least the occasional visit. I wish that the birth father is a positive factor in this adoption, and that we can have a relationship with him too.
Will any of these wishes be granted? Only time will tell…
Do you have any wishes?
I too wish that both the birthmom and birth father can keep it together for my son’s sake.