Open Adoption Roundtable: Grown Up Jack

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community.

Imagine your child as an adult describing their open adoption experience. What do you hope they will be able to say about you? How did you view their other parents? In what ways did you support their relationship with them?

January 18, 2031

Dear Mom & Dad,

Now that I’m 25, out of grad school, and can rent a car, I guess I’m finally a grown up. Being a quarter of a century old, I wanted to take some time to reflect on my life thus far. I wanted to make sure that you know a few things.

First, I want you to know that I think you were good parents. (Actually, you still are.) I maybe didn’t always agree with you when you’d punish me, but I think, now, I can see why you did what you did.

Second, I want you to know that you are my “real” parents, even if I maybe alluded to something different during my turbulent teenage years. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but, then, maybe that was my job back then.

You were always there to answer when I called. You believed in me and made sure I believed in myself. You always supported me and urged me to try new things. You were always open minded.

Third, I’m glad that, even though you are my real parents, I still know S. I know I had a hard time understanding why she kept my brother and sister but not me. I think I get that now, but I have to admit, it still hurts sometimes. Then again, I remember when I was a kid wanting Iggy and A to come live with us. I thought it wasn’t fair, on so many levels (to borrow one of Mom’s phrases), that we had so much and they didn’t. I didn’t understand that there was more to their problems than money could solve, and I didn’t realize how much money things really cost. (You know, since I started paying my own rent and all.)

I want to thank you for always extending the olive branch to K. I know that couldn’t have been easy for Dad. I’m glad that K finally responded, even if I’m still kind of pissed off at him. At least I know where I get the curly hair, right?

I still wish that we all could have been a tighter family. But I’m glad that I have both of my moms in my life, and I know that they both love me. And of course, I know that Dad loves me. ‘Nuff said.

I thought you should know that I’m also sending a letter to S. I want to thank her for making the right choice for me, and to thank her for hanging in there, even when the road got rocky.

I know I’ve never been the perfect son, but I know you guys love me just the same.  Thank you.

Love,

Your son, Jackson

Photo Credit.

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