e-mail
The holiday season is truly and fully here! Only 25 more shopping days ’til Christmas!
It seems that many people have a hard time knowing what to get for their children’s birthmothers. Fortunately, I’ve always been direct – I ask S what she wants, she tells me, I get it. But if your relationship isn’t so direct, how do you know what to do?
Pictures are always safe. All indicators point to birthmothers loving to see pictures of their happy, healthy children. I took a photo of Jack every month, positioned between his Cow and Bear. It was a kick to see him grow from smaller than the stuffed animals to their height and then mashing them to his toddler body. I created a collage and sent it to S. She loved it!
If you send photos on a regular basis, try sending a photo album. Maybe you already do that. I didn’t, you see. I thought she’d pick the ones she liked best and put them in whatever book she wanted. But then she asked for brag books so she could keep them all straight. Aha!
But you want something beyond pictures? Jewelry is a very popular option. There are online stores that specialize in adoption jewelry. You may have also seen birthstone jewelry. My mom had a pin that included her birthstone, my dad’s, mine, and my sister’s. I think that’s something all mothers could love.
You want something beyond stuff? Write to your child’s birthmother and tell her that you appreciate her, that you could not be a family without her, and that you think of her often.
If you are matched with an expectant mother, check with an attorney in the e-mom’s state before you buy anything! S lived in Missouri, and we were told we could only get her gifts that could be eaten. (No, I’m not kidding.) Some states are very strict about anything that can be seen as coercion. Don’t buy gifts unless you are sure they are allowed. Vet everything with an attorney first.
In the edible gift category, many candy companies, such as See’s, ship nationwide. Cheryl’s Cookies, while expensive, are the best cookies ever. I personally make fudge every year. If you live in a state that’s famous for a food – say, Florida oranges – gift those. If you know she’s been having certain cravings, you might go in that direction.
Gift-giving does not have to be stressful. Remember the reason for the season – a certain baby’s birth.
