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Jack began asking for a baby sister when he was about 18 months old. His best friend K’s mommy was having a baby girl. Sitting on the couch between my husband and me, Jack said, “I want a baby sisser.”
I replied, “Ask your father.”
Without missing a beat, Jack swiveled his head and said, insistently, “I want a baby sisser!”
And so it began…
We initially thought we’d begin the adoption process again when Jack turned three. When his adoption went way over our budget, we thought, OK, we’ll wait until he’s four. Jack even painted a picture, titled “For my baby sister when I’m 4″.
Now, my husband has lost his job, so we’re hoping Jack will have a baby sister sometime during his fifth year.
This past Thursday, many of my family members were in town for my Mom’s memorial service. My sister brought my two nephews. Orion is 3 (just a few months younger than my son Jack) and Cyrus is 16 months. At the reception after the service, Jack actually enjoyed playing with Cyrus. He kept trying to pick the child up. Some of my cousins noticed this, and noted how well Jack was playing with the baby.
I could tell that they wanted to ask if Jack was ever going to have a sibling, so I told them the story I just told you. My cousin’s wife said that she always wanted to know, but felt it was rude to ask.
In my opinion, asking a family member whether or not they plan on having any more children is generally not rude. Of course, it depends on how it’s done. I once saw another cousin’s reaction when someone asked if she was going to try for a boy. (She has two girls.) My son’s godmother had a very difficult time being and staying pregnant, so to ask her if they plan on having any more children might not be the best idea. But it doesn’t bother me when family asks sincere questions about our adoption or family planning.
I’m planning a few more posts about the thought process going into our second adoption. Even if we can’t begin the paper process for another year, there’s plenty to think about before then.
