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My son’s Adoption Day is coming up in August. Last year, he was in preschool for the first time. Although I had planned cupcakes and a story reading, both by yours truly, stress happened, and he got store bought bakery cookies and his teachers read the story.
This year I’d like to do more. Jack has already decided that he wants cupcakes. A friend of mine is starting her own cupcake-making business, so I’m on top of that. (Think the school would frown upon it if I served the green mojito cupcakes? Yeah, probably.) I’ll certainly at least send a story. Beyond that, I’m not sure what to do.
Jack is 3-1/2. He knows he’s adopted, and I think he gets what that means, at least a little bit. He knows that he has a birth mother and a brother and sister who don’t live with him, but who love him anyway. He knows that he gets a Birthday and an Adoption Day. I don’t think he understands pregnancy, so I’m fairly sure he doesn’t get the whole “heart/womb” connection.
His friends don’t seem to notice that Jack is a different color than his parents. Some of his friends’ older relatives do. We were at a birthday party this weekend, and a friend’s cousin, about age 8 to 10 I’d say, asked if Jack was my “real” son. I knew what she meant, and I just smiled and said, “Yes”.
I’m not sure that I want to accentuate the differences at this point. If the kids aren’t curious, then what’s the point of answering questions that they might not have? I can just send or read a story about adoption to get it on their radar screens, without going into any detail about Jack’s adoption in particular.
I think I want the practice, though. I imagine that there will be lots of questions to answer, and it would be nice to head them off at the pass. Of course, he will only be at this school through Kindergarten, and then we all get to start over. (Don’t even get me started on that subject.)
I can be pretty good at making mountains out of mole hills (and vice versa). Ideally, I’d get to spend a little time at school, read a story, and pass out the cupcakes. I’d like to be there to hear if the kids have any comments. They range in age from 2 to 5, so the older ones especially might ask questions.
I’m sure I will ponder this far more than necessary until mid-August. When I make a decision, if I’m happy with it, I’ll let you know.
